


The Unexpected Gift

by Inell



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Relationship(s), Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 20:34:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2402027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inell/pseuds/Inell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry receives an unexpected gift from his ex-wife and uses it to expand Draco’s knowledge of Muggle objects</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unexpected Gift

**Author's Note:**

> Written based on poll results with Harry/Draco winning, and for a prompt of vibrator. This is so silly but I can blame the cold meds I'm taking, right?

The package is moving and making an odd noise.

Draco has had his wand out since he shook the box and it started moving, but he isn’t sure what charm to use. When he tried a stasis charm, the box stopped moving, but there was still an odd whirring noise. A silencing charm stopped that noise, and it gave him a moment of peace before he started worrying that the charms might damage whatever is in the box. It isn’t addressed to him, so he removes the charms and just sits there staring at the box, hoping it doesn’t explode.

Fortunately, it isn’t long before he hears the Floo. “Your ex-wife sent us a bomb,” he says immediately.

“What?” Harry is in the process of dusting off his robes, frozen in the act and staring at Draco with wide eyes. “Did you say bomb?”

“Do you need to go to St. Mungos to get your hearing checked? Yes, I said bomb! That’s the thing in those ridiculous Muggle films you like, isn’t it? They make an odd noise and then explode.”

“I know what a bomb is, Draco. I don’t see why you think Ginny would send me one, though.” Harry shrugs his robe off and lets it fall on the floor, which distracts Draco slightly because how much of a slob is his lover to leave his clothes on the floor like that?

“If she’s so perfect and saintly, maybe you should remarry her,” he grumps, annoyed that Harry is so defensive of his ex.

“Why would I want her when I have you?” Harry bats his eyelashes, and Draco relents, slightly, but he refuses to let Harry see it. “Draco, don’t I get a welcome home kiss?”

“No.” He tilts his chin up and sniffs. “There won’t be time for kisses when we’re killed by that bomb.”

Harry leans in and kisses him quickly, grinning triumphantly when he steps back. “Now, what’s this about a bomb?”

“Kiss thief!” Draco punches Harry’s arm before he points his wand over at the box. “It started moving and making an odd noise when I shook it.”

“Why were you shaking a package addressed to me?” Harry smiles when Draco glares at him. “It’s not ticking like a bomb, so I think we’re safe.” He walks over and picks up the box, which causes Draco to tighten his grip on his wand. “Ginny’s had more than enough opportunities to kill me if she wanted to. While she did question my taste in men, she’s been very supportive of us, and you know it.”

“Hmph.” Draco crosses his arms across his chest. “She’s just jealous that she’s not as sexy as I am. It wouldn’t surprise me at all that she’s decided to get revenge now instead of taking advantage of previous opportunities. She’s a Weasley. They aren’t very clever, after all.”

Harry just laughs and sits next to him on the sofa. “She’s definitely not as sexy as you are, but I’m biased,” he says. “When I was a teenager, my tastes were different. You can put the wand down, babe. I don’t know what she’s sent, but it isn’t going to explode when I open the box.”

“Your taste has improved with age,” Draco tells him. “You’re just lucky that I’ve lowered my standards and allowed a Gryffindor into my bed.”

“I’ve been in more than just your bed.” Harry gives him a leer that’s so ridiculous he can’t help but laugh, which makes Harry so smug it’s almost adorable. _Almost_. The box is still moving, and Harry is fearless as he unties the string around it. When he opens the flaps, his cheeks flush. “I’m going to hex her next time I see her.”

“What is it?” Draco’s not worried now that he can see Harry’s embarrassed by the gift instead of anxious. He tugs the box off Harry’s lap and peers inside. “Why did she send you a snake?”

“It’s not a snake.” Harry clears his throat and holds out the piece of parchment that was in the box. “She saw this in a Muggle shop and thought of us.”

Draco rolls his eyes. “A snake for a Slytherin. So witty. However could you give her up,” he says dryly. He pulls the twitching snake out of the box and eyes it suspiciously. “What’s it supposed to be for?”

“It’s a vibrator.” Harry pushes his spectacles up the bridge of his nose and stares at him. Draco wonders if he’s supposed to know what that is, but it isn’t familiar to him. Harry snorts. “Oh, come on. You’re thirty-four! You’ve had to have heard about vibrators.”

“I don’t make it a habit to learn about odd Muggle devices,” he says in a haughty tone. The snake he’s holding is made out of an odd material that is hard yet almost gelatinous. It’s painted green and silver, which also likely contributed to Weasley’s association with them. It’s still making a strange buzzing noise, and it’s twitching in his hand. He drops it on the sofa because it feels weird. “What is that thing?”

When he hears Harry giggling, he scowls at him. Harry attempts to stop giggling, but that just seems to make him do it more. “Sorry,” he manages to stammer between laughing bouts. Draco is not amused. The snake is still buzzing between them, and Harry finally calms enough to speak. “Sorry. It was just too funny with you and the vibrator and the expression on your face.”

“If you laugh at me one more time, I’m going to spend the night at Greg’s,” he threatens. It’s an empty threat, of course, because he has no intention of sleeping on Greg’s lumpy sofa and listening to him snore all evening.

Harry reaches over to squeeze his thigh. “You know, I think it would better if I just show you what it’s used for.” He’s using the low sexy voice that makes Draco’s pulse race. “Would you like that, sweetheart?”

“I hate you,” he whines, unable to resist Harry when he calls him awful pet names that he should loathe but just doesn’t because Harry is actually foolish enough to use them seriously.

“I know you do.” Harry leans in and kisses him, slow and teasing. Draco returns the kiss, reaching up to cradle the back of Harry’s head as he deepens the kiss. Harry pushes him back against the sofa, which is unexpected.

“Really, Harry? On the sofa?” Draco snorts. “We aren’t teenagers or commoners, you realize?”

“ _Really_ , Draco.” Harry smirks down at him. “I don’t think there’s an age or status requirement when it comes to shagging on the sofa. If there is, well, you know that I’ve always been fond of breaking rules.”

“That’s an understatement, impudent brat.” Draco pushes Harry’s spectacles back up when they slide down his nose. “To be the head of the aurors, you break a lot of rules.”

“None of the important ones,” Harry assures him. “Just the silly ones that spoiled Pureblood prats make up to avoid shagging on sofas.”

“Spoiled? Just because I’d prefer to stretch out on a comfortable bed instead of contort myself to fit on this sofa?” Draco arches a brow. “Why don’t we trade places and we’ll see how long you want to continue snogging on the sofa when you’re feeling that cushion digging into your back.”

“You aren’t so concerned about your back when you provoke me into shagging you against walls or on the dining room table or the kitchen counter. I could continue if you’d like a refresher?” Harry leans down and licks Draco’s neck. “However, I’d prefer moving forward with my demonstration of Ginny’s gift to us. If you’re finished complaining?”

Draco considers being difficult for a little while longer, but he’s horny now that Harry’s been rubbing against him and kissing him. He’s also curious about how that ridiculous dragon item is useful in snogging. “Fine. I’ll allow you to debauch me on the sofa like a peasant.”

“Bloody hell. Remind me to tell Hermione to stop forcing you to read Muggle history books,” Harry mutters. “Peasants and commoners? Like you’re the bloody King of England.”

“It’s about time you recognize my royal lineage, Harry. Three centuries ago, you’d be kneeling before me and kissing my arse.” Draco smirks. “I suppose some things don’t change over time, though.”

Harry snickers but attempts to frown in what Draco supposes is a stern manner but mostly makes him look like he needs to use the loo. “You need to shut up now so I can show you the wonderful uses of a vibrator.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up. You know I hate when you do that.” Draco sulks, thrusting out his lower lip in a deliberate manner. “You could be nicer and just say please.”

“Please stop talking so I can get you naked?” Harry grins and bites at Draco’s bottom lip. “No pouting either, babe.”

“Only because you’ve said please.” Draco sighs and waves his hand. “Naked sometime soon, yes?”

“We’d have been naked ages ago if I’d had my way,” Harry points out. He gets his wand out and murmurs a few words that leave them both naked. “While I’d have enjoyed stripping you slowly, I’m not going to risk you finding another reason to halt my progress.”

“I’m not one of your pointless assignments at work. There’s no progress to halt.” Draco shifts around until he’s more comfortable. He stands by his original opinion that the sofa is not an adequate place to shag. They’re two fully grown men, and the space available has him already having twist his body slightly just to get comfy. When his hip touches something moving, he startles. “What the fuck?”

“Our present, remember? The reason we’re naked before dinner and snogging on the sofa in the first place?” Harry grins down at him, and Draco just knows he’s going to have to hear about how easily he’s forgotten the purpose of all this once Harry got naked anytime he tries to point out Harry’s weaknesses

“Hmph. We get naked before dinner occasionally without having weird Muggle objects twitching around on the sofa,” he points out. He wiggles a bit to deliberately draw Harry’s attention to his hardening cock as a means of distraction from their conversation. It works, obviously, because his cock _is_ rather impressive and Harry has a fondness for it.

“It’s a vibrator shaped like a bloody snake,” Harry says, laughing under his breath as he picks up the strange object. “Only Ginny would actually buy this and send it to me. I’ll owe her one, of course, even if we’re using it for its intended purpose and not just having a laugh and tossing it in the rubbish like she probably expects.”

“Talking about the ex does magical things to my body.” Draco gives him a wide-eyed expression and points at his cock. “It’s making my erection disappear!”

“Fortunately, I can do magic, too, and make it reappear.” Harry flashes a cheeky grin before he scoots down, nearly falling off the sofa in a perfect example of Draco’s original complaint, not that he brings it up when Harry’s got his mouth on his cock now. Gloating can wait until after orgasms.

Draco watches Harry suck his cock, not bothering to say anything because he’s focused on how sexy Harry is when he’s got a hard cock in his mouth. Not just any cock, because Draco is an only child and never did learn how to share properly, but there’s something incredibly arousing about seeing Harry sucking him off, and words aren’t really necessary to convey how much he’s enjoying it considering his inability to remain completely silent when Harry’s tongue curls around the head of his cock or when he feels Harry’s teeth lightly scrape in just the perfect spot.

Harry pulls his head up, letting Draco’s cock slide out of his mouth. There’s a string of saliva that finally breaks and ends up on Harry’s chin. “Muggles use vibrators to heighten their pleasure during sex. They can be used by just one person or they can be used by couples,” he explains, attempting to sound swotty like Granger but unable to manage it when there are flashes of his bare arse behind him as he ruts against their sofa like a horny teenager. “I’ve actually never used one before, but I’ve seen it in a Muggle film before.”

“A Muggle sex film?” Draco gives him a judgmental stare that makes Harry grin. “Pansy informed me that Muggles are obsessed with sex, making films and devoting entire shops to naughty things. That’s what inspired her to open her own shop, which is yet something else to blame Muggles for because she and Daphne continue to create scandal throughout our world with their filthy shop.”

“It’s actually very classy for that type of shop, and they’ve got a nice contract with George and Angelina for some of the products they’re selling. They actually might have magical vibrators, come to think of it.” Harry waggles his eyebrows. “We’ll have to stop by to do some shopping one day. I went with Hermione after they opened, since she was curious, but I haven’t been back since.”

“Again with the magical erection destroyer. Granger in a filthy sex shop doesn’t turn me on, love,” he points out, making a horrified expression.

“You’re still hard.” Harry shakes his head. “And you’d have probably enjoyed it because Pansy and Daphne both flirted with her until she was bright red and practically running away from their accidental groping.”

Draco scoffs. “She’s lucky they didn’t just tie her up and use her the way Pansy’s wanted to since she was a schoolgirl. Real Slytherins wouldn’t play such silly games. They’d just take they wanted and be done with it.”

“Oh, is that why you took four months of constantly finding excuses to visit my office or conveniently turning up in the same place that I was before _I_ ended up asking you out for dinner?” Harry lightly tickles his side. “I’ll be sure to let Hermione know that the women’s interest wasn’t just flirting, though. Since she and Ron broke up, she’s become quite adventurous sexually. She enjoys telling me about it whenever I’ve made her cross.” He grimaces. “There are some things I don’t need to know about my sister.”

“Can we please get back to our naked fun times?” Draco rubs his heel over the back of Harry’s leg. “Before I really do just get up and go take care of this myself.” He reaches down to stroke his cock, which is still hard despite their conversation.

“Vibrators. Right.” Harry holds up the trembling snake and smiles as he places the tip of it against Draco’s cock.

“Bloody hell!” Draco jumps when the movement of the vibrator causes his cock to twitch. Harry begins moving the snake up and down his cock, teasing him with the vibrating movements until he’s bucking his hips and craving more friction. During the teasing, Harry’s also been working two fingers into his arse, getting him loose and ready to be fucked.

“It gets better,” Harry confides before he leans down to swallow Draco’s cock and presses the vibrator against his balls. Draco rolls his hips, trying to get more of Harry’s mouth on his cock. He’s so intent on feeling wet suction on his cock that he doesn’t realize it isn’t Harry’s fingers pushing inside him until it’s too late.

He presses down against the vibrator as Harry works it into his arse. The odd texture makes more sense now that he realizes it’s intended to go up an arse. It isn’t as wide as Harry or as long, but it fills him better than fingers. The vibration is bloody amazing, too, when coupled with Harry’s sucking and his teasing tongue. “Merlin,” he breathes out, groaning as he just lies there and lets Harry fuck him stupid. When he comes, Harry swallows it down, shoving the vibrator even deeper inside him, somehow knowing how to angle it to make it buzz against the spot that has him hardening again like he’s a boy first discovering his cock.

Harry finally takes pity on him and pulls the vibrator out of his arse while also letting his half-hard cock slip out of his mouth. When they kiss, Draco can taste the salty bitter of himself on Harry’s tongue, and he grips Harry’s hair tightly as he kisses him harder. Harry’s still hard, rutting against his hipbone as they kiss. 

“If we were in our bed, I could roll you over and ride you until you come in my arse,” he murmurs against Harry’s mouth. “As it is, you’ll just have to fuck me.”

“Only you could gloat after an intense orgasm,” Harry mutters, kissing him to get him to stop talking. Draco rolls his hips and moves his legs so Harry has better access to his arse. When Harry pushes inside, they both make noises of contentment, not that Draco would ever admit how much he loves having Harry fill his arse. Not that he doesn’t also enjoy fucking Harry, but he knows which he’d choose if he couldn’t have both.

It doesn’t take long before Harry’s bucking his hips wildly, sweat dripping down his back and muscles in his arms tensing. Draco watches his face as he comes, loving the awkward expression as Harry grunts and shoots his release in his arse. Orgasm faces are just not attractive, but Draco always enjoys watching Harry’s because he finds it beautiful in its own way. Harry kisses him as he continues making shallow thrusts, and Draco is hard again but knows he isn’t going to come like this. He whines and rolls his hips, rubbing himself against Harry’s abdomen and getting long fingers wrapped around him in reward.

“Gonna make you come for me again, sweetheart,” Harry whispers, stroking him hard and fast, no teasing at all in his actions. Draco’s already come once, though, so it takes him longer the second time. Finally, he feels his orgasm hit, and there are several shots of come that drip onto his abdomen and chest as Harry keeps rubbing him.

“Enough,” he says, reaching down to stop the movement. “It’s going to chafe if you keep that up.”

“Can’t have that happen. I’d lose my favorite toy.” Harry kisses him lazily, nuzzling and licking and tasting until Draco’s whining into the kiss. When they pull apart, Harry grins down at him. “So, will I be writing Ginny the thank you note or will you?”

End


End file.
